2012 Top Ten list (plus)
2012 Top Ten list... (plus)
I hoped, once again, to write a holiday letter to our friends and family this year, but, alas, could not quite seem to find the time! But, like all my other "great" ideas, I have time to feel guilty about not implementing them only while changing diapers. So, in this spirit, I thought I'd keep track of the top ten diaper changing meditations of the season. And I have to send it today, before I'm once again officially too late.
BUT FIRST, we can only only set the appropriate mood by suggesting the following additions to your current atmosphere:
Changing a diaper while the other baby poops loudly and pulls at the diaper you are currently changing.
Dog wants in
Toddler finds recorder (the perfect addition to any stressful situation)
Cat wants out
Someone is crying
Toddler whacks cat with recorder
Phone rings
Dog wants out
Someone is crying (we've gotten so used to crying that when I don't hear it, I'm afraid someone has been kidnapped.)
Clarinet glares loudly from the corner, laying on its typical guilt trip.
Knock at the front door- another window salesman
Cat wants in backdoor
Thought...have I brushed my teeth today? Its 2 pm. WHAT? How did that happen? I hope so but can't remember. Was I wearing this outfit yesterday? Did I sleep in it?
Baby 1, diaper done- barfs during exchange for baby 2 diaper change
OK, now we are ready.
10. Soy sauce is to vanilla as Desitin is to toothpaste. Store far away from each other.
9. Is it time to give up when your two-year-old points to dinner (granted, it was beef stir-fry) and says, "poop!" ?
8. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Then whipped them all soundly (?)
And put them to bed.
7. Turns out you don't really need a doctorate or 20+ years of teaching experience to explain "how many half notes fit in an eighth note."...
6. Popsicles soothe any crisis,
From goose bites to fire-ant run-ins- for kids
for mommies, stooping down feeding geese (especially while living in Florida) with your kids will do the trick.
5. Nothing makes you a celebrity more instantly than a triple jogging stroller (Thanks Dad and Lyn and Mimi!)
4. Bedtime and morning look almost exactly the same. Especially when one is at 5:15 and the other is at 6:15
3. Something to contemplate- would I get more done if I just didn't get out of bed at all? Some days feel like going back in time except with more grey hair- how is it possible to get so little done in one day? For just one of many examples, its taken me a year and a half to make Patti her birthday paper crane-(yes, you Patti!! I think of you and your thoughtfulness and how you deserve SOO many paper cranes) yet every attempt I've made so far looks more like a wadded up gum wrapper...
2. Being the mother of babies and teens is a bit like having your life flash before your eyes. Kissing those soft gummy grinny faces- tiny hands wrapped around my finger, while talking about driver's ed and what looks good on college applications. It's disorienting. It's the sweetest stuff of life. but also disorienting.
And, finally, the number 1 diaper changing meditation of 2012... Brought to you in the form of a little song (sung to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas)
1. On the first day of Christmas, my true love brought to me
A three pack refill for the diaper genie
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two glasses of (really good) wine
(don't worry- not passed on to the babies ;-)
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three poopy blowouts to change
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four sparkly eyes and squishy thighs to tickle
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A nice home for our-
Five beautiful children!!!!!
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six years together (and a half)
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Seven chocolate Hanukkah coins and "Why is there a tree in our house and when is Christmas this year?"
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eight cups of coffee
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Nine months of understanding (think pregnancy hormones squared)
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A Ten mile stretch of running (back in October but still)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eleven Harley shirts (to "wash carefully and hang to dry")
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve months of laughter and "ok fine i guess I'll give you a backrub"
and simply a sweet happy life that we are truly blessed to share
HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE!!!!