2013- A much-too-long holiday letter

Dear friends and family,

I wanted to get this out before the holidays, but each time I sit down to write it, Guy says "What are you writing there, your will?"

It seems that with each passing moment of this social media age, the traditional "holiday letter" becomes less relevant- less "newsworthy," since we probably already know what each other has been up to, what we've eaten, how often we shower, etc. Couldn't we all summarize our year the same way, "we laughed, we cried..."?

But I'll write this anyway.

I'll even go a step further from status updates and related unnecessary sharing and invite you to share some family moments at our house. I could share the facts, but this might be the most honest way to share our past year with you.

I do have to preface this with a warning:

What you are about to read is rated CGLS and may exhibit excessive references to Cuteness, moment-to-moment Gratitude for health, family, music, and for every Laugh and Scream that we share together. It may also contain nudity.

Now, come in! Our house almost always looks like a crime scene- we enter as if stumbling upon a desperate and disappointing search for blackmail materials, or gold- complete with smeared handprints. Only in our house, instead of blood it's usually chocolate. I wish I could claim this was a result of a conscious decision to focus on the important things; that I'd resolved to make the most of every moment and leave cleaning for later... But I clean all the time! I wake up and go to sleep cleaning! But gremlins live here, you see- we got them wet and fed them after midnight. So imagine the mess that leaves behind. I often imagine that most of my friends and neighbors would be genuinely surprised to find a dirty diaper under the couch or in the toy basket and that, unlike me, they wouldn't have to feign shock or repulsion.

Also, our house is SO LOUD. There are at least three people "asking" for something simultaneously at any given moment, and a dog whining and a cat meowing. Or an adult yelling at the dog or cat to stop whining or meowing. (Guy and Tasha can only carry on a conversation between 11:30PM and midnight.) Depending on where you are standing, you might be able to hear a medley of all or some of: Benny Goodman, clarinet practicing, recorder, Taylor Swift, Green Day and/or Nirvana, Brahms, Paul practicing drums or guitar, and Burl Ives. Somehow, Guy practices, Tasha finished her dissertation, and Laura still manages to write with all this commotion. And Le'on continues to captivate our attention with his adorableness- his tales of going to space to find the lollipop planet, acting out "going to work" with his tiny clarinet, or his secret 3:00AM ice cream binges.

Now, please join us, it is evening in our new Michigan home: food is always cooking and the washing machine is always running. Dad is usually still dressed nicely for work, having taught all day, Mom might have taught a few lessons but is still dressed in clothes from yesterday that easily double as a napkin and running clothes, still hoping for a shower, teenagers are nowhere in sight but probably dressed in band or tv show merchandise, and the little people are dressed like Hanna-Barbara characters- shirt and no pants, or just not dressed at all.

(By the way, have you ever tried to catch a chicken? Imagine that you can do this, and then dress it in footy pajamas-while two other chickens scratch at each other's eyes right next to you. You then catch and dress those, also. And then the smallest one poops and you repeat the process.)

Throughout the course of the evening, while I'm trying to get dinner on the table, and Aria and Ella chase each other around the downstairs wearing Leon's Sesame Street undies on their heads, you'll most likely hear:

Stop licking that

Honey you can't pee in dump truck, you have to pee in the potty

Please stop putting your wee wee in your sister's toys

Please stop hitting me with the golf club

Whats all over your finger- Is that chocolate or poop?

You can't do that with a banana

What's that smell- did you get McDonald's? No, that's poop

Then comes dinner- finally! Everyone is sitting down at the same time and place! At least for a second, until I start my new exercise routine of "get up/sit down." I like for us all to sit down so that we can talk, share our day together. Here is an example of my side of this exchange, usually a single run-on sentence: "I am getting your milk just a second- who's house? Benny! Oh, honey-you're pooping at dinner again? Stay sitting in your seat when is the concert that sounds like a good idea you can go potty by yourself just a minute what friend? can you turn that music down I haven't seen your keys leave their food alone! How was your day I'm coming! Stay sitting in your seat no you are not excused only those of us who ate our chicken-where is that cat? can have cookies can you please unload the dishwasher after dinner Benny leave that alone!"

I cannot begin to express how lucky I feel to have dinners like this! I look at all my beautiful children and I still can't believe they came from me, how I could be so fortunate? Every moment under the same roof is absolutely cherished. And that we are healthy, and that Guy and I get to share every bit of this crazy ride together!

And yes, it is cold here, but we love our new Michigan life!

We wish you all a very Happy New Year!